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The Ring and How It Changed My Life
I Never Knew a Ring Could Reveal So Much...
by Guest Contributor, Monica Harris
I Never Knew a Ring Could Reveal So Much...
by Guest Contributor, Monica Harris
My phone rang on a Saturday
afternoon in the middle of lunch.
It was my best friend Jenay
sounding a lot giddier than she
typically does.
So, I asked her with my mouth
half full, "Girl, what're you so
happy about? You got it?!"
Jenay had been trying to work
out a deal on a new car for weeks.
afternoon in the middle of lunch.
It was my best friend Jenay
sounding a lot giddier than she
typically does.
So, I asked her with my mouth
half full, "Girl, what're you so
happy about? You got it?!"
Jenay had been trying to work
out a deal on a new car for weeks.
"It's official Monica!" she said
almost squealing with delight.
"So, what kind is it? The black
Camry you wanted or that red
Explorer?
"No, not that."
"Then what's official?" I asked
stuffing the rest of my sandwich in
my mouth and slurping my soda.
almost squealing with delight.
"So, what kind is it? The black
Camry you wanted or that red
Explorer?
"No, not that."
"Then what's official?" I asked
stuffing the rest of my sandwich in
my mouth and slurping my soda.
"He asked me."
"You mean... he popped the question?"
Though I didn't get a direct answer,
when Jenay started laughing and
screaming something unintelligible... I
knew.
And instantly, my heart dropped.
Now, I'm not proud of that. I would
love to say I was truly happy for my
best friend, but for some reason, I got
a big lump in my throat and I felt
instantly depressed.
Jenay and I have been friends since
grade school. I'm 34, three years older
than she is. I was supposed to get
married first.
"Monica! Monica!" I heard my name,
faintly at first... then I realized I had
zoned out on the phone.
I had spilled my soda on my new oak
table in the kitchen. "Oh girl, I'm
sorry," I said trying to sound normal as
I grabbed up my cup.
I knew what was coming next. She was
gonna want to show me her ring.
"I'm coming over right now," she said,
still yelling in that overly happy
annoying kind of way.
Jenay lived only a two-minute drive
away. I had no time to prepare my
mind.
Now mind you, I had just broken off a
three year engagement. I discovered
that the man I was supposed to be
marrying in a year, already had a wife!
He only confessed when I confronted
him about a gorgeous platinum
diamond encrusted wedding band I
found in an old shoe box in his
apartment..but it wasn't my size.
He couldn't lie his way out of that one. I
never knew a ring could reveal so much!
Turns out it was hers before they
separated.
"You mean... he popped the question?"
Though I didn't get a direct answer,
when Jenay started laughing and
screaming something unintelligible... I
knew.
And instantly, my heart dropped.
Now, I'm not proud of that. I would
love to say I was truly happy for my
best friend, but for some reason, I got
a big lump in my throat and I felt
instantly depressed.
Jenay and I have been friends since
grade school. I'm 34, three years older
than she is. I was supposed to get
married first.
"Monica! Monica!" I heard my name,
faintly at first... then I realized I had
zoned out on the phone.
I had spilled my soda on my new oak
table in the kitchen. "Oh girl, I'm
sorry," I said trying to sound normal as
I grabbed up my cup.
I knew what was coming next. She was
gonna want to show me her ring.
"I'm coming over right now," she said,
still yelling in that overly happy
annoying kind of way.
Jenay lived only a two-minute drive
away. I had no time to prepare my
mind.
Now mind you, I had just broken off a
three year engagement. I discovered
that the man I was supposed to be
marrying in a year, already had a wife!
He only confessed when I confronted
him about a gorgeous platinum
diamond encrusted wedding band I
found in an old shoe box in his
apartment..but it wasn't my size.
He couldn't lie his way out of that one. I
never knew a ring could reveal so much!
Turns out it was hers before they
separated.
Jenay didn't say anything else. She just
slowly walked away and slammed the
door behind her.
As soon as she was gone, I felt all my
strength leave me. I made it over to the
door, locked it, and then, my knees
buckled beneath me. I slid down my
front door,put my hand over my
mouth, curled my knees into my chest
and sobbed like a baby.
I felt like someone had torn my insides
out.
See, three years earlier when Dennis
and I first got engaged, my mom told
me she didn't feel right about him. But
my "biological clock was ticking" and I
didn't want to hear that. So I pushed my
mother away.
Eventually, I stopped talking to her
altogether. I figured I didn't need her,
because I had him. But what I didn't
know is that my mother would be killed
in a head on collision with a drunk
driver while I was out with Dennis.
I never got to say I'm sorry and I never
got to say goodbye. She died instantly.
So after that excruciating loss, I
latched on even tighter to Dennis and
making it work with him was so
important to me; it made me feel safe
and comforted. He was the replacement
for the mother I had lost.
And when that relationship with him
crumbled, the guilt over not reconciling
with my mother was more than I could
handle. Now, I felt I was losing Jenay
too and it took me back to the first
stages of grieving the loss of my mom. I
was a total wreck.
That all happened nearly five years
ago. Today, by the grace of God, I have
sincere relationship with Jesus Christ.
He has brought wholeness and joy to
me. I tell single women all the time that,
nothing and no one can make you
whole but God. A man can't do it. A best
friend can't do it. Only God can.
Don't ever try to build a relationship
with anyone, before you have a right
relationship with the Lord. By the way,
Jenay and I are still best friends; she is
happily married with a 2 year old
daughter--her name is Monica... and
I'm happily single for the first time in
my life!
___________________________
Monica Harris is a Philadelphia-based writer and
violinist who has contributed to many national
Christian publications. Monica enjoys traveling with
her local orchestra and play large venues
throughout the US.
slowly walked away and slammed the
door behind her.
As soon as she was gone, I felt all my
strength leave me. I made it over to the
door, locked it, and then, my knees
buckled beneath me. I slid down my
front door,put my hand over my
mouth, curled my knees into my chest
and sobbed like a baby.
I felt like someone had torn my insides
out.
See, three years earlier when Dennis
and I first got engaged, my mom told
me she didn't feel right about him. But
my "biological clock was ticking" and I
didn't want to hear that. So I pushed my
mother away.
Eventually, I stopped talking to her
altogether. I figured I didn't need her,
because I had him. But what I didn't
know is that my mother would be killed
in a head on collision with a drunk
driver while I was out with Dennis.
I never got to say I'm sorry and I never
got to say goodbye. She died instantly.
So after that excruciating loss, I
latched on even tighter to Dennis and
making it work with him was so
important to me; it made me feel safe
and comforted. He was the replacement
for the mother I had lost.
And when that relationship with him
crumbled, the guilt over not reconciling
with my mother was more than I could
handle. Now, I felt I was losing Jenay
too and it took me back to the first
stages of grieving the loss of my mom. I
was a total wreck.
That all happened nearly five years
ago. Today, by the grace of God, I have
sincere relationship with Jesus Christ.
He has brought wholeness and joy to
me. I tell single women all the time that,
nothing and no one can make you
whole but God. A man can't do it. A best
friend can't do it. Only God can.
Don't ever try to build a relationship
with anyone, before you have a right
relationship with the Lord. By the way,
Jenay and I are still best friends; she is
happily married with a 2 year old
daughter--her name is Monica... and
I'm happily single for the first time in
my life!
___________________________
Monica Harris is a Philadelphia-based writer and
violinist who has contributed to many national
Christian publications. Monica enjoys traveling with
her local orchestra and play large venues
throughout the US.
"I turned away from
her to try to hide the
tears, but she saw me
anyway. It was the
most awkward
moment I ever had
with my best friend."
her to try to hide the
tears, but she saw me
anyway. It was the
most awkward
moment I ever had
with my best friend."
pitched squeal accompanied by big tears
rolling down my cheek. I couldn't
believe it.
I turned away from her to try to hide the
tears, but she saw me anyway. It was the
most awkward moment I ever had with
my best friend. Once again, I never
knew a ring could reveal so much--this
time, it exposed the pain that was hidden
inside of me!
"I'm sorry," she said with this pitiful
sound. That only made it worse.
"Maybe I shouldn't have come by."
In my heart I wanted to collapse into my
best friend's arms, cry, and tell her that I
really was happy for her, but I wasn't
over my own break up.
I wanted to tell her how much I missed
Dennis and my mother, and how I was
afraid of losing her too, but that's not
what came out.
I got all defensive and angry and
screamed, "Don't pity me! If you can't
treat me like you did before, then don't
bother coming over!" I yanked my
shoulder from underneath her hand.
I'm the one who broke down crying...
the nerve of me, right?
I know it sounds bad.
I knew it was terrible while I was saying
it, but I was so hurt that I lashed out at
the one person who cared about me
more than anyone else.
Because, for me, it's easier to hide
behind anger, than to reveal my pain.
rolling down my cheek. I couldn't
believe it.
I turned away from her to try to hide the
tears, but she saw me anyway. It was the
most awkward moment I ever had with
my best friend. Once again, I never
knew a ring could reveal so much--this
time, it exposed the pain that was hidden
inside of me!
"I'm sorry," she said with this pitiful
sound. That only made it worse.
"Maybe I shouldn't have come by."
In my heart I wanted to collapse into my
best friend's arms, cry, and tell her that I
really was happy for her, but I wasn't
over my own break up.
I wanted to tell her how much I missed
Dennis and my mother, and how I was
afraid of losing her too, but that's not
what came out.
I got all defensive and angry and
screamed, "Don't pity me! If you can't
treat me like you did before, then don't
bother coming over!" I yanked my
shoulder from underneath her hand.
I'm the one who broke down crying...
the nerve of me, right?
I know it sounds bad.
I knew it was terrible while I was saying
it, but I was so hurt that I lashed out at
the one person who cared about me
more than anyone else.
Because, for me, it's easier to hide
behind anger, than to reveal my pain.
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© & TM 2008-2012 EEW Magazine a division of Hobbs Ministries a Subsidiary of Training for
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may not be reproduced or replicated in any form.
-Advertisement-
"Ding-Dong"
I swallowed hard. "Alright, alright, I'm
coming," I said, tugging on my pink
t-shirt, noticing a mustard stain on the
front.
I looked a mess ... exactly the way I felt.
I opened the door and in walks Jenay
grinning this huge grin.
I force a smile and say, "Let me see the
bling girl!"
I swallowed hard. "Alright, alright, I'm
coming," I said, tugging on my pink
t-shirt, noticing a mustard stain on the
front.
I looked a mess ... exactly the way I felt.
I opened the door and in walks Jenay
grinning this huge grin.
I force a smile and say, "Let me see the
bling girl!"
"Bam!" she said,
flashing this huge
diamond. It had to
be at least two full
carats. Breathtaking.
I opened my mouth
to say congrats, but
instead, nothing
came out but a high-
flashing this huge
diamond. It had to
be at least two full
carats. Breathtaking.
I opened my mouth
to say congrats, but
instead, nothing
came out but a high-
