I ended up alone with them a couple of times while he was busy with other matters. He had no
idea how uncomfortable I was. This not-so-friendly family was so mean-spirited, they nearly
discouraged me from continuing on in my relationship with a guy who was so blind to the truth.
Whenever we were together as a couple in this family's company, everyone was all smiles. But
deep down, they bristled when they saw how well he treated me.
Finally, once I came to grips with what this scheme they had going on, I addressed it and nipped
it in the bud. Later, I discovered that the married mother secretly had a crush on my beau; she
treated me so poorly because she was in an unhappy marriage and wanted to be romantically
involved with the very man I was dating. Somehow, seeing how well he treated me stirred up
jealousy and envy in her. She resented me simply because she wanted what she could not have.
After that experience, the popular quote that says, "Hurting people hurt other people," took on
a whole new meaning for me. Individuals who fall into this category take their issues out on
others rather than dealing with their internal struggles.
In my case, that’s exactly what it was. This may be true in your case as well.
So then, the question is, how do you deal with people like this? Here are a few simple tips that
might help you if you find yourself in this situation.
1. Know the signs. When someone is emotionally healthy and truly loves you, they don't
mind celebrating with you and building you up with their words. Beware of individuals who are
consistently cynical, critical, and moody in response to your happiness. If your friend or family
member cannot rejoice when you rejoice as Romans 12:15 instructs, take notice of that. And if
you feel unsure of what to make of any negative signs, always pray for discernment from God.
According to Jeremiah 17:9,10 He is the only one who knows the true intent of a person's heart.
2. Keep it to yourself. One of the best things you can do is keep your personal life personal
and only with God’s permission, share what he’s doing for you in your relationship. Remember
in Genesis 37 when Joseph revealed his dreams to his brothers and ended up in big trouble? You
can't confide in everyone! You see,allowing everyone into your close, intimate space is
probably not such a good idea. It would be great if everyone's motives were pure, but they are
not. We live in world where evil always has an agenda which is, on occasion, carried out through
other people. So practice using discretion. If you must share your great news of how God has
blessed you with that God-sent man, confide in those you know and trust as true, and loyal
confidants. This can help prevent heartache.
3. Pray for those who are envious. The word enemy is a strong one, but it’s a very real one
too. We have friends and we have enemies. The Bible talks about this in Matthew 5:44 where
Jesus says, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them
that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Sure betrayal
hurts and it’s a natural reaction to seek retaliation. But, you have to be the better person and
love those who are jealous, envious, and conniving anyway. Pray for them. Pray for their
happiness. Pray that God would bless them.
I’d like to encourage you to not allow other people to be a stumbling block in your life. You keep
moving forward even in the face of jealousy and envy; be confident that God is on your side.
And that's what matters most.
idea how uncomfortable I was. This not-so-friendly family was so mean-spirited, they nearly
discouraged me from continuing on in my relationship with a guy who was so blind to the truth.
Whenever we were together as a couple in this family's company, everyone was all smiles. But
deep down, they bristled when they saw how well he treated me.
Finally, once I came to grips with what this scheme they had going on, I addressed it and nipped
it in the bud. Later, I discovered that the married mother secretly had a crush on my beau; she
treated me so poorly because she was in an unhappy marriage and wanted to be romantically
involved with the very man I was dating. Somehow, seeing how well he treated me stirred up
jealousy and envy in her. She resented me simply because she wanted what she could not have.
After that experience, the popular quote that says, "Hurting people hurt other people," took on
a whole new meaning for me. Individuals who fall into this category take their issues out on
others rather than dealing with their internal struggles.
In my case, that’s exactly what it was. This may be true in your case as well.
So then, the question is, how do you deal with people like this? Here are a few simple tips that
might help you if you find yourself in this situation.
1. Know the signs. When someone is emotionally healthy and truly loves you, they don't
mind celebrating with you and building you up with their words. Beware of individuals who are
consistently cynical, critical, and moody in response to your happiness. If your friend or family
member cannot rejoice when you rejoice as Romans 12:15 instructs, take notice of that. And if
you feel unsure of what to make of any negative signs, always pray for discernment from God.
According to Jeremiah 17:9,10 He is the only one who knows the true intent of a person's heart.
2. Keep it to yourself. One of the best things you can do is keep your personal life personal
and only with God’s permission, share what he’s doing for you in your relationship. Remember
in Genesis 37 when Joseph revealed his dreams to his brothers and ended up in big trouble? You
can't confide in everyone! You see,allowing everyone into your close, intimate space is
probably not such a good idea. It would be great if everyone's motives were pure, but they are
not. We live in world where evil always has an agenda which is, on occasion, carried out through
other people. So practice using discretion. If you must share your great news of how God has
blessed you with that God-sent man, confide in those you know and trust as true, and loyal
confidants. This can help prevent heartache.
3. Pray for those who are envious. The word enemy is a strong one, but it’s a very real one
too. We have friends and we have enemies. The Bible talks about this in Matthew 5:44 where
Jesus says, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them
that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Sure betrayal
hurts and it’s a natural reaction to seek retaliation. But, you have to be the better person and
love those who are jealous, envious, and conniving anyway. Pray for them. Pray for their
happiness. Pray that God would bless them.
I’d like to encourage you to not allow other people to be a stumbling block in your life. You keep
moving forward even in the face of jealousy and envy; be confident that God is on your side.
And that's what matters most.
LIKE THIS FEATURE? SHARE IT!
| EEWMAGAZINE.COM |
Years ago, I experienced a similar situation. I
was dating a guy who happened to be good
friends with members of a family that appeared
to be very sweet. So naturally, he introduced
me to these individuals he highly regarded.
In this family was a mother who was married
with three beautiful daughters- one was my age
at the time. Well, my relationship with this
gentleman was going perfectly fine until his
“friends” began treating me completely
differently in his absence.
was dating a guy who happened to be good
friends with members of a family that appeared
to be very sweet. So naturally, he introduced
me to these individuals he highly regarded.
In this family was a mother who was married
with three beautiful daughters- one was my age
at the time. Well, my relationship with this
gentleman was going perfectly fine until his
“friends” began treating me completely
differently in his absence.
Her question was:
Unfortunately, people who are battling, struggling and fighting with deep issues often have a
hard time celebrating someone else who is happy. It’s an unfortunate truth that I have
personally faced on many occasions. There are individuals who say they love you, support you
and are there for you. But the truth is, they have ulterior motives and inwardly, they are
battling ugly vices like deep-rooted jealousy and envy.
“I seem to be around a lot of jealous folks, “relationship killers”, that try to destroy
everything I get- even relationships. It seems, some people get mad, especially if they are
miserable. So what should I do?”
Unfortunately, people who are battling, struggling and fighting with deep issues often have a
hard time celebrating someone else who is happy. It’s an unfortunate truth that I have
personally faced on many occasions. There are individuals who say they love you, support you
and are there for you. But the truth is, they have ulterior motives and inwardly, they are
battling ugly vices like deep-rooted jealousy and envy.
| Copyright © 2011-2014 EEW Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. |
EMAIL:
Kennisha Hill is the author of the Christian
Fiction a freelance magazine writer. She
lives in Dallas, Texas and is happily
married with two children. Learn more by
visiting her website at kennishahill.com or
her Facebook page at Facebook.com/
kennisha.hill.
Email Kennisha:
khill@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
Fiction a freelance magazine writer. She
lives in Dallas, Texas and is happily
married with two children. Learn more by
visiting her website at kennishahill.com or
her Facebook page at Facebook.com/
kennisha.hill.
Email Kennisha:
khill@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
| BI-WEEKLY COLUMNS |
Monday March 28, 2011
Jealousy is one of the hardest things to deal
with in relationships. And, it especially hurts
if it’s a close friend who appears jealous of
where God is taking you in a relationship.
Have you experienced this before? Has
someone who you hoped would be happy for
you exhibited signs of jealousy? Did they
seem to despise you because of your blissful
relationship? I’m sure many of us have been
through this. This is exactly what one EEW
sister experienced and was led to share her
question with me. With her permission, I am
address it in this column.
with in relationships. And, it especially hurts
if it’s a close friend who appears jealous of
where God is taking you in a relationship.
Have you experienced this before? Has
someone who you hoped would be happy for
you exhibited signs of jealousy? Did they
seem to despise you because of your blissful
relationship? I’m sure many of us have been
through this. This is exactly what one EEW
sister experienced and was led to share her
question with me. With her permission, I am
address it in this column.
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