| BI-WEEKLY COLUMNS |
I turn into a wallflower at social gatherings. My friends from church always laugh at me because I get
really quiet and stiff.
“Come on Ashley girl, loosen up!” they say all the time. But I am very cautious about letting my
guard down too quickly these days.
Last weekend I was at a Christian singles event one of our sister churches was hosting. It was really
nice. We all got dressed up, went to a beautiful banquet hall, enjoyed great music, food, and
fellowship. It was a lovely evening and I met some awesome people who love God and are living the
single life His way.
It’s always encouraging to see that.
During the outing, one guy—we’ll call him Evan—came walking over to me in his perfectly tailored
dark gray suit, crisp white shirt, and navy blue tie. The brother had it together. I felt like I wanted to
snap “in z formation” when he walked over. He was clean as the board of health.
Evan was also very handsome and tall. His caramel skin was smooth, his head was clean shaven, and
he had really deep dimples. This guy looked like someone who stepped off the cover of GQ. In a
word, he was gorgeous… intimidatingly so.
Immediately my friends from church started elbowing me and giggling. One of the young women
pushed me in the back and said, “Stop looking mean Ashley and say hi!” I didn’t even realize I had an
unpleasant frown on my face. I was just uncomfortable and obviously, it showed. So this guy walked
right up to me, swag on 10, extended his hand and said, “Hello, I’m Evan and your name is…?”
“I’m Ashley,” I smiled tightly, while reaching out to shake his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.” After I
survived the awkward introduction, Evan pretty much broke the ice with a few funny comments. He
was suave and very confident. Still, I didn’t get too relaxed. Since I’ve been through a few things in
my life, I know that you never can really tell who someone is from one encounter. There’s no way of
knowing what they’re truly thinking, whether they’re genuine, if they have ulterior motives, or if they’
re toxic. That takes prayer and spending time around that person.
As my Sweet Ma always says, “Don’t you go gettin’ attached too quick now. You’ll end up hooked into
something you’ll be running to get unhooked from later!” Whenever my grandmother says that, she
always does this chuckle under her breath and gets a faraway look in her eyes, as if she is
remembering something that once happened to her.
Well, after about ten minutes of talking, Evan asked if we could exchange numbers. I think he saw the
hesitance in me, because he quickly interjected, “I’m not a stalker or psycho, I promise!”
I chuckled and grudgingly agreed.
For about three days I didn’t hear anything from him. So I just shrugged it off and assumed Evan
wasn’t that interested. Then on a Wednesday evening at about 8:00, a text message popped up that
said, “Hi, it’s Evan from the singles banquet. Remember?”
Of course I remembered Mr. GQ. So we started texting back and forth for about 20-25 minutes. The
next day, we spoke on the phone and he was just as funny and charming.
Then on Friday evening at about 11:30 Evan sent a text that said, “What r u doing now?”
I responded, “About 2 turn in. Let’s talk 2mrrw.” It was later than I was comfortable talking to this
virtual stranger.
H replied, “Miss u. Can I c u 2nite?”
Uh oh, red flag!
He followed up that message with a photograph of him shirtless, showing off ripped abs, posing in
front of the bathroom mirror.
Can you say turn off? Ugh!
After that, I called him. Evan picked up the phone laughing, thinking I was about to invite him over.
All that laughter stopped when I told him, “I don’t get down like that.”
I was surprised when this man was still trying to change my mind about letting him pay me a visit at
almost midnight! I’ll spare you the details of the conversation, but it ended with me telling him to
“lose my number.”
Several years ago, before getting an education from the “school of hard knocks,” I would not have
cut things off that abruptly. I used to fall so easily, so fast, and so hard. But when I discovered my
true value through a relationship with the Lord and His Word, tactics like that stopped working on
me.
As single ladies who love God, we can’t afford to allow smooth-talking men, who have their minds on
one thing, to get to us.
No matter how fine and debonair he is, if that man is trying to cause us to compromise, he’s got to go.
Let him know that you won’t let an evening between the sheets to come in between you and God.
Enjoyed this article? Tell the writer by leaving a comment here or sending an email to
ashley.peterson@eewmagazine.com.
ABOUT THE WRITER
Ashley Peterson is a staff writer for EEW Magazine. Her goal is to share her personal stories, discuss
current issues related to single women, and help them lead a single, saved, and satisfied like the way
God intends. When asked why she shares such personal details of her life with her reading audience,
Ashley says, "If God brings me out and I don't share my testimony, how can I help anyone else?"
Because of her candor, Ashley Peterson's Singles columnist is rapidly becoming the most-read
column on EEWMagazine.com.
really quiet and stiff.
“Come on Ashley girl, loosen up!” they say all the time. But I am very cautious about letting my
guard down too quickly these days.
Last weekend I was at a Christian singles event one of our sister churches was hosting. It was really
nice. We all got dressed up, went to a beautiful banquet hall, enjoyed great music, food, and
fellowship. It was a lovely evening and I met some awesome people who love God and are living the
single life His way.
It’s always encouraging to see that.
During the outing, one guy—we’ll call him Evan—came walking over to me in his perfectly tailored
dark gray suit, crisp white shirt, and navy blue tie. The brother had it together. I felt like I wanted to
snap “in z formation” when he walked over. He was clean as the board of health.
Evan was also very handsome and tall. His caramel skin was smooth, his head was clean shaven, and
he had really deep dimples. This guy looked like someone who stepped off the cover of GQ. In a
word, he was gorgeous… intimidatingly so.
Immediately my friends from church started elbowing me and giggling. One of the young women
pushed me in the back and said, “Stop looking mean Ashley and say hi!” I didn’t even realize I had an
unpleasant frown on my face. I was just uncomfortable and obviously, it showed. So this guy walked
right up to me, swag on 10, extended his hand and said, “Hello, I’m Evan and your name is…?”
“I’m Ashley,” I smiled tightly, while reaching out to shake his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.” After I
survived the awkward introduction, Evan pretty much broke the ice with a few funny comments. He
was suave and very confident. Still, I didn’t get too relaxed. Since I’ve been through a few things in
my life, I know that you never can really tell who someone is from one encounter. There’s no way of
knowing what they’re truly thinking, whether they’re genuine, if they have ulterior motives, or if they’
re toxic. That takes prayer and spending time around that person.
As my Sweet Ma always says, “Don’t you go gettin’ attached too quick now. You’ll end up hooked into
something you’ll be running to get unhooked from later!” Whenever my grandmother says that, she
always does this chuckle under her breath and gets a faraway look in her eyes, as if she is
remembering something that once happened to her.
Well, after about ten minutes of talking, Evan asked if we could exchange numbers. I think he saw the
hesitance in me, because he quickly interjected, “I’m not a stalker or psycho, I promise!”
I chuckled and grudgingly agreed.
For about three days I didn’t hear anything from him. So I just shrugged it off and assumed Evan
wasn’t that interested. Then on a Wednesday evening at about 8:00, a text message popped up that
said, “Hi, it’s Evan from the singles banquet. Remember?”
Of course I remembered Mr. GQ. So we started texting back and forth for about 20-25 minutes. The
next day, we spoke on the phone and he was just as funny and charming.
Then on Friday evening at about 11:30 Evan sent a text that said, “What r u doing now?”
I responded, “About 2 turn in. Let’s talk 2mrrw.” It was later than I was comfortable talking to this
virtual stranger.
H replied, “Miss u. Can I c u 2nite?”
Uh oh, red flag!
He followed up that message with a photograph of him shirtless, showing off ripped abs, posing in
front of the bathroom mirror.
Can you say turn off? Ugh!
After that, I called him. Evan picked up the phone laughing, thinking I was about to invite him over.
All that laughter stopped when I told him, “I don’t get down like that.”
I was surprised when this man was still trying to change my mind about letting him pay me a visit at
almost midnight! I’ll spare you the details of the conversation, but it ended with me telling him to
“lose my number.”
Several years ago, before getting an education from the “school of hard knocks,” I would not have
cut things off that abruptly. I used to fall so easily, so fast, and so hard. But when I discovered my
true value through a relationship with the Lord and His Word, tactics like that stopped working on
me.
As single ladies who love God, we can’t afford to allow smooth-talking men, who have their minds on
one thing, to get to us.
No matter how fine and debonair he is, if that man is trying to cause us to compromise, he’s got to go.
Let him know that you won’t let an evening between the sheets to come in between you and God.
Enjoyed this article? Tell the writer by leaving a comment here or sending an email to
ashley.peterson@eewmagazine.com.
ABOUT THE WRITER
Ashley Peterson is a staff writer for EEW Magazine. Her goal is to share her personal stories, discuss
current issues related to single women, and help them lead a single, saved, and satisfied like the way
God intends. When asked why she shares such personal details of her life with her reading audience,
Ashley says, "If God brings me out and I don't share my testimony, how can I help anyone else?"
Because of her candor, Ashley Peterson's Singles columnist is rapidly becoming the most-read
column on EEWMagazine.com.
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MARCH 12-26 EEW MAGAZINE