I literally felt like Gabrielle Union in that popular scene from Tyler Perry’s film “Daddy’s Little
Girl’s.” It was ridiculous! And right when his boys were coming in with cases of alcohol,
instantly I knew it was time for me to leave. On my drive home, I repented for ignoring the Lord
and thanked him for His grace in that situation.
Now, I don’t profess to be perfect, but as a Christian woman with standards, I knew right then
there were some things I just couldn’t have in a man. The vulgar language, drinking and drugs,
were among them. From then on, I decided that the first thing at the very top of my list was for
him to be saved.
Of course I’m not suggesting that all men who aren’t saved live this particular type lifestyle.
There are some hard-working, straight-laced men out there who are also very respectful to
women. I know some brothers right now who are genuinely nice, upstanding men. But wouldn’t
it be much sweeter if you were with a man who had, not just a good heart, but the same God you
serve in his heart? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to grow in Christ together? Wouldn’t it be
preferable not have to worry about going to church alone because he doesn’t want to go?
There are married women I know today who deal with difficulties with men who aren’t saved. It
was their choice and now they are faced with some tough challenges. They battle with issues like
waiting not-so-patiently for the day he will finally come to the Lord, not being sure if they can
really trust him, since his decisions are not influenced by God’s leading. These are not “bad”
men, but if you ask these wives if they wish their husband’s really knew the Lord and openly
shared in their spiritual intimacy with the Father, they would shout yes!
Now sisters, I want you to hear me because I believe it’s important that single ladies understand
this. The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness
and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2
Corinthians 6:14). Though many argue this doesn’t apply specifically to marriage relationships,
I beg to differ. In this passage Paul is addressing many problems inside the Corinthian church.
He is exhorting believers to avoid idolatrous practices and live a life consistent with their
profession of faith in Christ. How? By remaining separate from immorality, as well as those
steeped within it.
If you are interested in being involved with someone who is not saved, there are a few things I
would like you to keep in mind.
1. You can’t make him come to Christ: I used to think that because I was “so strong in the
Lord” I could help him come to Christ. The truth is, you can’t while you’re dating and you can’t
even in marriage. Every man has to come to the Lord themselves. Praying for him and
introducing him to Christ is always in order, but you should never enter into a relationship with
the idea that you’ll convert him later.
2. Your “spiritual strength” won’t prevent you from compromising: I’ve heard
some women say they are so saved that they won’t fall or compromise with a man who isn’t. Let
me share something with you. That is a straight up set-up. To think that you are so strong
spiritually that you can’t fall is a dangerous thing. The enemy knows your weakness and don’t
think for a second he can’t use the unsaved man you love to tempt you and bring you down.
3. You CAN help who you fall in love with: I’ve heard some women say “You can’t help
who you fall in love with.” The truth is, you can. You have to make the decision. If you find out a
man isn’t saved, don’t play with fire. Walk away, because the more time you spend with a
person, the easier it is to fall in love.
If you are already in a non-marital relationship with a man who isn’t saved, I want you to
strongly consider what you’ve read today. Then pray and ask the Lord to reveal His will for your
life. And if you are single and uninvolved, be sure to wait for God to send that saved man whose
heart belongs to the Lord.
Girl’s.” It was ridiculous! And right when his boys were coming in with cases of alcohol,
instantly I knew it was time for me to leave. On my drive home, I repented for ignoring the Lord
and thanked him for His grace in that situation.
Now, I don’t profess to be perfect, but as a Christian woman with standards, I knew right then
there were some things I just couldn’t have in a man. The vulgar language, drinking and drugs,
were among them. From then on, I decided that the first thing at the very top of my list was for
him to be saved.
Of course I’m not suggesting that all men who aren’t saved live this particular type lifestyle.
There are some hard-working, straight-laced men out there who are also very respectful to
women. I know some brothers right now who are genuinely nice, upstanding men. But wouldn’t
it be much sweeter if you were with a man who had, not just a good heart, but the same God you
serve in his heart? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to grow in Christ together? Wouldn’t it be
preferable not have to worry about going to church alone because he doesn’t want to go?
There are married women I know today who deal with difficulties with men who aren’t saved. It
was their choice and now they are faced with some tough challenges. They battle with issues like
waiting not-so-patiently for the day he will finally come to the Lord, not being sure if they can
really trust him, since his decisions are not influenced by God’s leading. These are not “bad”
men, but if you ask these wives if they wish their husband’s really knew the Lord and openly
shared in their spiritual intimacy with the Father, they would shout yes!
Now sisters, I want you to hear me because I believe it’s important that single ladies understand
this. The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness
and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2
Corinthians 6:14). Though many argue this doesn’t apply specifically to marriage relationships,
I beg to differ. In this passage Paul is addressing many problems inside the Corinthian church.
He is exhorting believers to avoid idolatrous practices and live a life consistent with their
profession of faith in Christ. How? By remaining separate from immorality, as well as those
steeped within it.
If you are interested in being involved with someone who is not saved, there are a few things I
would like you to keep in mind.
1. You can’t make him come to Christ: I used to think that because I was “so strong in the
Lord” I could help him come to Christ. The truth is, you can’t while you’re dating and you can’t
even in marriage. Every man has to come to the Lord themselves. Praying for him and
introducing him to Christ is always in order, but you should never enter into a relationship with
the idea that you’ll convert him later.
2. Your “spiritual strength” won’t prevent you from compromising: I’ve heard
some women say they are so saved that they won’t fall or compromise with a man who isn’t. Let
me share something with you. That is a straight up set-up. To think that you are so strong
spiritually that you can’t fall is a dangerous thing. The enemy knows your weakness and don’t
think for a second he can’t use the unsaved man you love to tempt you and bring you down.
3. You CAN help who you fall in love with: I’ve heard some women say “You can’t help
who you fall in love with.” The truth is, you can. You have to make the decision. If you find out a
man isn’t saved, don’t play with fire. Walk away, because the more time you spend with a
person, the easier it is to fall in love.
If you are already in a non-marital relationship with a man who isn’t saved, I want you to
strongly consider what you’ve read today. Then pray and ask the Lord to reveal His will for your
life. And if you are single and uninvolved, be sure to wait for God to send that saved man whose
heart belongs to the Lord.
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So I walked up to his apartment, which was on
the third floor, and knocked on the door. And
there he was inside, standing there as high as a
kite. I walked in and stood still. I looked around
and there was no furniture— only one lawn
chair and a broken down television.
But, I’m no judge, so I gave him a chance. When
he started rapping the most redundant and
degrading lyrics to an original song he wrote,
talking about how he’s about to make an album,
I was done!
the third floor, and knocked on the door. And
there he was inside, standing there as high as a
kite. I walked in and stood still. I looked around
and there was no furniture— only one lawn
chair and a broken down television.
But, I’m no judge, so I gave him a chance. When
he started rapping the most redundant and
degrading lyrics to an original song he wrote,
talking about how he’s about to make an album,
I was done!
Call. He gave me all the signs that he was interested. However, he was far from a man
representing Christ. I’ll just say, he had a very bad boy persona. It was something about him that
I knew wasn’t right. But instead of listening to the Holy Spirit and resisting, I said yes and agreed
to meet him at his place one evening.
Ladies, I must have circled around his apartment building ten times knowing I was about to
make a terrible decision. Deep down, I knew this man was into some things that violated my
standards. I was shaken up because, even though I sensed a problem, I didn’t know exactly what
I was about to get myself into.
representing Christ. I’ll just say, he had a very bad boy persona. It was something about him that
I knew wasn’t right. But instead of listening to the Holy Spirit and resisting, I said yes and agreed
to meet him at his place one evening.
Ladies, I must have circled around his apartment building ten times knowing I was about to
make a terrible decision. Deep down, I knew this man was into some things that violated my
standards. I was shaken up because, even though I sensed a problem, I didn’t know exactly what
I was about to get myself into.
| Copyright © 2011-2014 EEW Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. |
EMAIL:
Kennisha Hill is the author of the Christian
Fiction a freelance magazine writer. She
lives in Dallas, Texas and is happily
married with two children. Learn more by
visiting her website at kennishahill.com or
her Facebook page at Facebook.com/
kennisha.hill.
Email Kennisha:
khill@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
Fiction a freelance magazine writer. She
lives in Dallas, Texas and is happily
married with two children. Learn more by
visiting her website at kennishahill.com or
her Facebook page at Facebook.com/
kennisha.hill.
Email Kennisha:
khill@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
| BI-WEEKLY COLUMNS |
Monday April 11, 2011
Years ago when I was single, I reached a
point in my life where I didn’t want to be
involved in a serious relationship. I had just
come out of a broken one and truth be told, I
cut my hair, changed my look and was on the
loose to have a good time. And since I was
heartbroken by a Christian man, I decided to
lower my standards and see what it would be
like dating someone who wasn’t saved.
So, there was a young man who worked with
me, who always flirted in some way.
Everyday, he would make a stop at my desk
on his way to and from lunch. He’d email.
point in my life where I didn’t want to be
involved in a serious relationship. I had just
come out of a broken one and truth be told, I
cut my hair, changed my look and was on the
loose to have a good time. And since I was
heartbroken by a Christian man, I decided to
lower my standards and see what it would be
like dating someone who wasn’t saved.
So, there was a young man who worked with
me, who always flirted in some way.
Everyday, he would make a stop at my desk
on his way to and from lunch. He’d email.
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