Rhonda J. Smith is a former college speech
instructor & communications coordinator
turned full-time homemaker & journalist. The
writing of this committed wife and mother
who earned her Bachelor’s degree in
journalism and a Master’s degree in
communication from Wayne State University,
Detroit, has been featured in The Detroit
News, Newsday (New York), Chicago
Tribune, Daily Tribune (Royal Oak, MI),
Guideposts, and Charisma Magazine.
Rhonda frequently speaks at ministry
functions, writes and edits newsletters for
Christian ministries, and teaches public
speaking workshops. Three times a week,
she encourages women to lean on God's
strength instead of their own through her
blog, Musings of a (Recovering) Strong Black
Woman. She, her husband and three sons
attend Evangel Ministries in Detroit, where
they live.
Email Rhonda Smith:
rhonda@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook:
Facebook.com
instructor & communications coordinator
turned full-time homemaker & journalist. The
writing of this committed wife and mother
who earned her Bachelor’s degree in
journalism and a Master’s degree in
communication from Wayne State University,
Detroit, has been featured in The Detroit
News, Newsday (New York), Chicago
Tribune, Daily Tribune (Royal Oak, MI),
Guideposts, and Charisma Magazine.
Rhonda frequently speaks at ministry
functions, writes and edits newsletters for
Christian ministries, and teaches public
speaking workshops. Three times a week,
she encourages women to lean on God's
strength instead of their own through her
blog, Musings of a (Recovering) Strong Black
Woman. She, her husband and three sons
attend Evangel Ministries in Detroit, where
they live.
Email Rhonda Smith:
rhonda@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook:
Facebook.com
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About the Writer
With ten years more disciplining experience than I, Renee, on staff at the church, was there to
help me carry out the Scriptures, but their effect seemed to be buried in the Bible. Joshua
resisted my every attempt to instruct him to be obedient by gluing himself to the chair and
staring at me like I was indeed the enemy.
With our heads sweaty and minds drenched, we called my husband to come administer the
discipline. While we waited for Flynn, we reasoned that maybe the Scriptures didn’t apply to
some children. I thought, “He’s crying so much, maybe spanking isn’t right. With all his moving I
did miss his backside and now he has a bruise on his thigh. Maybe I’m abusing him.”
When Flynn arrived, he warned Joshua about disrespecting me, reminded him of the
consequences of disobedience and then scooped him up with one arm and gave Joshua three
swats on the backside. With that the ordeal was over but I knew there would be more if I didn’t
handle spanking Joshua the right way. Being with Joshua most of the day, I knew I couldn’t
always call Flynn for reinforcement. Joshua would begin to disregard my authority. I had to gain
Joshua’s respect as a disciplinarian. So I prayed and clung to the promises found in scripture
that told me that by not sparing the rod, my children will:
In order to receive these results, I follow these guidelines when spanking:
1. Explain the consequences of a violation. When your child begins to understand that
he or she is doing something wrong, explain what the consequences will be the next time they
commit the sin. Don’t spank your child if they don’t know why they are being spanked. That is
not just. But once you explain to them the consequences for wrong behavior, you can hold them
accountable.
2. Know the child will not die (Proverbs 23:13). One of my friends said seeing her
children’s tears is the hardest part of spanking for her. But she focuses on the fact that they will
survive and be okay, and that helps her to go forth in her chastisement duty.
3. Discipline promptly (Proverbs 12:24, 19:18). How many times have you given second
and third chances for violations the children knew were wrong? It is okay to show mercy at
times, but constantly doing so or otherwise neglecting your corporal punishment duty shows
your children what they can get away with and they, not you, will ultimately be in charge.
4. Discipline with the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 15:33). When you seek to please and
honor the Lord with spanking, God will give you the wisdom to mete out physical discipline with
justice.
5. Know that spanking is a display of love (Proverbs 13:24). Because spanking is an
act of love, 1 Corinthians 13 should be the barometer for how you approach the spanking
moment. I work hard not to raise my voice. I don’t want to engender anger (Proverbs 15:1). I
ask my children if they know why they are being spanked. When I’m clear that they do, I move
forward.
I followed these steps diligently and saw a remarkable change in Joshua at age 3. When time
came for him to be physically disciplined, he complied without hesitation or a word. That was
the beginning of his now normal reaction to receiving physical discipline.
What are your thoughts on spanking? Share them with Rhonda at rhonda@eewmagazine.com.
help me carry out the Scriptures, but their effect seemed to be buried in the Bible. Joshua
resisted my every attempt to instruct him to be obedient by gluing himself to the chair and
staring at me like I was indeed the enemy.
With our heads sweaty and minds drenched, we called my husband to come administer the
discipline. While we waited for Flynn, we reasoned that maybe the Scriptures didn’t apply to
some children. I thought, “He’s crying so much, maybe spanking isn’t right. With all his moving I
did miss his backside and now he has a bruise on his thigh. Maybe I’m abusing him.”
When Flynn arrived, he warned Joshua about disrespecting me, reminded him of the
consequences of disobedience and then scooped him up with one arm and gave Joshua three
swats on the backside. With that the ordeal was over but I knew there would be more if I didn’t
handle spanking Joshua the right way. Being with Joshua most of the day, I knew I couldn’t
always call Flynn for reinforcement. Joshua would begin to disregard my authority. I had to gain
Joshua’s respect as a disciplinarian. So I prayed and clung to the promises found in scripture
that told me that by not sparing the rod, my children will:
1. Not be foolish (Proverbs 22:15)
2. Be wise (Proverbs 29:15)
3. Have purified hearts (Proverbs 20:3)
4. Give us rest (peace or comfort) and delight our souls (Proverbs 29:17)
In order to receive these results, I follow these guidelines when spanking:
1. Explain the consequences of a violation. When your child begins to understand that
he or she is doing something wrong, explain what the consequences will be the next time they
commit the sin. Don’t spank your child if they don’t know why they are being spanked. That is
not just. But once you explain to them the consequences for wrong behavior, you can hold them
accountable.
2. Know the child will not die (Proverbs 23:13). One of my friends said seeing her
children’s tears is the hardest part of spanking for her. But she focuses on the fact that they will
survive and be okay, and that helps her to go forth in her chastisement duty.
3. Discipline promptly (Proverbs 12:24, 19:18). How many times have you given second
and third chances for violations the children knew were wrong? It is okay to show mercy at
times, but constantly doing so or otherwise neglecting your corporal punishment duty shows
your children what they can get away with and they, not you, will ultimately be in charge.
4. Discipline with the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 15:33). When you seek to please and
honor the Lord with spanking, God will give you the wisdom to mete out physical discipline with
justice.
5. Know that spanking is a display of love (Proverbs 13:24). Because spanking is an
act of love, 1 Corinthians 13 should be the barometer for how you approach the spanking
moment. I work hard not to raise my voice. I don’t want to engender anger (Proverbs 15:1). I
ask my children if they know why they are being spanked. When I’m clear that they do, I move
forward.
I followed these steps diligently and saw a remarkable change in Joshua at age 3. When time
came for him to be physically disciplined, he complied without hesitation or a word. That was
the beginning of his now normal reaction to receiving physical discipline.
What are your thoughts on spanking? Share them with Rhonda at rhonda@eewmagazine.com.
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I was a novice as evidenced by the showdown
that was approaching two hours. Now let me
paint the picture for you.
On one side sat my weary girlfriend and me
and on the other side was Joshua, slowly
huffing and puffing with his head wet from
sweat and tears. He was three and refusing to
allow me to spank him for refusing, after two
chances, to heed my direct command by flat
out saying “No!”
I was at church during business hours so
after the offense I led him to a private room
to spank him. I wanted to discipline him with
dignity, not with his flailing arms and legs and
me wailing on him through any opening I
could.
He refused to comply and I refused to fight
him, but my attempt to restrain Joshua
seemed to mirror the fight I wanted to avoid.
that was approaching two hours. Now let me
paint the picture for you.
On one side sat my weary girlfriend and me
and on the other side was Joshua, slowly
huffing and puffing with his head wet from
sweat and tears. He was three and refusing to
allow me to spank him for refusing, after two
chances, to heed my direct command by flat
out saying “No!”
I was at church during business hours so
after the offense I led him to a private room
to spank him. I wanted to discipline him with
dignity, not with his flailing arms and legs and
me wailing on him through any opening I
could.
He refused to comply and I refused to fight
him, but my attempt to restrain Joshua
seemed to mirror the fight I wanted to avoid.
| EEWMAGAZINE.COM |
August 2-16