LIKE THIS ARTICLE? SHARE IT!
Our words, and commitment to keeping them,, lie
at the core of a strong relationship. Equally true
is that harmful words and our failure to keep our
commitments can strain and destroy them. Here
are three quick tips for improving communication
in your relationships TODAY!
1. Stop looking in your rear view: The old
saying “familiarity breeds contempt” can be at
play in our intimate relationships. Our knowledge
of the other person can cause us to assume that we
know their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we
can’t hear what is actually being said, because we
at the core of a strong relationship. Equally true
is that harmful words and our failure to keep our
commitments can strain and destroy them. Here
are three quick tips for improving communication
in your relationships TODAY!
1. Stop looking in your rear view: The old
saying “familiarity breeds contempt” can be at
play in our intimate relationships. Our knowledge
of the other person can cause us to assume that we
know their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we
can’t hear what is actually being said, because we
are too caught up on what we think. We can often arrive at conclusions before giving others a
chance to make their points and express themselves. Treat each interaction and conversation for
what it is— something new! Sometimes our assumptions about individuals create the repeat
behaviors we dislike, while keeping the person, conversation and relationship from progressing
forward.
Additionally, emotions experienced in a previous interaction should remain in the past.
Communication and judgment get cloudy when the cobwebs of unresolved past issues loom over
the present. It’s hard to move forward while steadily looking back. This brings us to the next
strategy…
2. Resolve it: Only dead things can be buried. If an issue isn’t resolved in a relationship, it must
be confronted and talked through by both parties to the point of resolution. Otherwise, it will
come back kicking and screaming another day.
I wish I could say that I was completely oblivious to the negative communication patterns between
me and my sister. But the truth is, they’ve been pointed out to me before. She’s pointed them out
and so have others. However, I justified my actions by focusing on her behavior. I’d say, “She’s
stubborn and keeps pushing me.” The reality is that I’ve been trying to resolve issues with “bully
talk” that can only be solved with boundaries or a decision on both our parts to change.
3. Submit your mouth to the law of kindness: In Proverbs 31:26, the scripture says “She
opens her mouth and the law of kindness is in her tongue” (King James). Some translations use
terms such as faithfulness and wisdom. Regardless, the point is clear. We can’t separate our
speech from our godliness.
Kindness should rule our conversations with one another. This doesn’t mean that we pansy
around and spend our days spouting meaningless feel- good sentiments, but it does mean that we
evidence grace and truth in our speech. It means that we speak patiently and respectfully. Even
when we have to give people the hard truth, it should be done with the focus of building up—not
tearing down.
I imagine as I work on these strategies over the next few weeks, I’ll have several opportunities to
ask for forgiveness. But, I know that obedience to the Word will cause me to reap a harvest in my
relationships and character.
Live It!
Study Proverbs chapter 8-10. Identify the number of times the scripture refers to our speech. On
a sheet of paper, compare and contrast the communication styles of the righteous versus the
wicked. What results do these groups reap? Identify the three areas you need to work on the most
and develop a strategy in for improving your communication skills.
chance to make their points and express themselves. Treat each interaction and conversation for
what it is— something new! Sometimes our assumptions about individuals create the repeat
behaviors we dislike, while keeping the person, conversation and relationship from progressing
forward.
Additionally, emotions experienced in a previous interaction should remain in the past.
Communication and judgment get cloudy when the cobwebs of unresolved past issues loom over
the present. It’s hard to move forward while steadily looking back. This brings us to the next
strategy…
2. Resolve it: Only dead things can be buried. If an issue isn’t resolved in a relationship, it must
be confronted and talked through by both parties to the point of resolution. Otherwise, it will
come back kicking and screaming another day.
I wish I could say that I was completely oblivious to the negative communication patterns between
me and my sister. But the truth is, they’ve been pointed out to me before. She’s pointed them out
and so have others. However, I justified my actions by focusing on her behavior. I’d say, “She’s
stubborn and keeps pushing me.” The reality is that I’ve been trying to resolve issues with “bully
talk” that can only be solved with boundaries or a decision on both our parts to change.
3. Submit your mouth to the law of kindness: In Proverbs 31:26, the scripture says “She
opens her mouth and the law of kindness is in her tongue” (King James). Some translations use
terms such as faithfulness and wisdom. Regardless, the point is clear. We can’t separate our
speech from our godliness.
Kindness should rule our conversations with one another. This doesn’t mean that we pansy
around and spend our days spouting meaningless feel- good sentiments, but it does mean that we
evidence grace and truth in our speech. It means that we speak patiently and respectfully. Even
when we have to give people the hard truth, it should be done with the focus of building up—not
tearing down.
I imagine as I work on these strategies over the next few weeks, I’ll have several opportunities to
ask for forgiveness. But, I know that obedience to the Word will cause me to reap a harvest in my
relationships and character.
Live It!
Study Proverbs chapter 8-10. Identify the number of times the scripture refers to our speech. On
a sheet of paper, compare and contrast the communication styles of the righteous versus the
wicked. What results do these groups reap? Identify the three areas you need to work on the most
and develop a strategy in for improving your communication skills.
I recently discovered this “little fox” in my relationship with my sister. There are times when she
can take the long route to a straightforward point and I’ve developed the habit of cutting her
sentences short and pushing her towards making the point. But recently, as I impatiently plowed
through her words, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my disrespect and insensitivity.
We sometimes forget that the in order to keep our relationships healthy and thriving, the same
efforts we put into obtaining and building them, will be needed to deepen and strengthen them.
Human beings are not mentally or emotionally static, so we must work hard to maintain
connection and minimize potential divides in our relationships.
can take the long route to a straightforward point and I’ve developed the habit of cutting her
sentences short and pushing her towards making the point. But recently, as I impatiently plowed
through her words, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my disrespect and insensitivity.
We sometimes forget that the in order to keep our relationships healthy and thriving, the same
efforts we put into obtaining and building them, will be needed to deepen and strengthen them.
Human beings are not mentally or emotionally static, so we must work hard to maintain
connection and minimize potential divides in our relationships.
Monday March 28, 2011
| EEWMAGAZINE.COM |
EMAIL:
Quoted as one of today's leading
motivational speakers by ESSENCE
magazine, Leadher Coach Scott™ shares
life-changing truths with practical wisdom,
humor and insight. Currently, a columnist
for StreamingFaith.com, her workshops
and seminars are popular at women's,
singles' and youth conferences. For more
info, also visit feliciascott.com or myspace.
com/upliftagency. Follow her at www.twitter.
com/coachfelicia.
Email Coach Scott:
coachscott@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
motivational speakers by ESSENCE
magazine, Leadher Coach Scott™ shares
life-changing truths with practical wisdom,
humor and insight. Currently, a columnist
for StreamingFaith.com, her workshops
and seminars are popular at women's,
singles' and youth conferences. For more
info, also visit feliciascott.com or myspace.
com/upliftagency. Follow her at www.twitter.
com/coachfelicia.
Email Coach Scott:
coachscott@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
| Copyright © 2011-2014 EEW Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. |
| ADVERTISEMENT |
| BI-WEEKLY COLUMNS |
"Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that
ruin the vineyards..." Song of Solomon 2:15
In relationships, a persistent fox is the habit
and attitude of being “common” in our daily
interactions with loved ones. On one hand,
we may do the hard work of being
transparent and making sacrifices, but we
can fall short in the area of courtesy and
respect; unknowingly allowing our
carelessness and ignorance to erode the
intimacy and connection that we’ve worked
so hard to build.
ruin the vineyards..." Song of Solomon 2:15
In relationships, a persistent fox is the habit
and attitude of being “common” in our daily
interactions with loved ones. On one hand,
we may do the hard work of being
transparent and making sacrifices, but we
can fall short in the area of courtesy and
respect; unknowingly allowing our
carelessness and ignorance to erode the
intimacy and connection that we’ve worked
so hard to build.
 | |  | |  | |  |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |
