But I was so consumed with covering things up , that I didn’t take the time to adapt to the
inevitable changes.
All of us have areas of immaturity that we need to address. But God’s plan is always to present us
with the circumstances and opportunities we need to grow. Meanwhile, our job is to keep our
immaturities in check. Too often, we beat ourselves up with the “could’ves” and the “should’ves”
when faced with our shortcomings. But there’s no time machine that will take us back so that we
can fix it. However, the future lies ahead with the opportunity to make things better!
Shame is not a part of God’s growth plan for us. Shame leads to lying, isolation and hiding. When
we are ashamed, we cover the very things that we need to expose, while cutting ourselves off from
the counsel and comfort of loved ones. Shame makes us lie about who and where we are.
Conviction on the other hand, empowers us. Conviction occurs when we apprehend God’s
standard, while understanding and believing that He intends to bring us up to the task—if we’re
willing to be obedient.
In order to defeat shame, we must understand that:
1. Falling short is human: Failure is a part of the human condition. We all mistakes. In fact,
we all have behavioral patterns that can threaten to compromise our testimony. We don’t accept
falling short with a nonchalant attitude that excuses sin. Rather, we accept that we can’t win the
fight in our strength alone. We need His grace to change. Pretending that you have it all together
and denying that you have a struggle is a waste of time. You can start the path to a delivered life by
admitting your faults and refusing to compare yourself to anyone or anything but the Word.
2. Remember that failure isn’t fatal: It would be great if we all had perfect track records,
but we don’t. The truth is some of us get it right in some areas while others don’t. Your credit
might be bad, but you are saving yourself for marriage. Meanwhile, the other sister pays every bill
ahead of time, but is struggling to live single and saved. It is important to understand that God
used both Joseph and David. In scripture, it would seem that Joseph got it all right. He responded
to adversity with the right attitude. He maintained his faithfulness to God. Then, we have David,
blessed by God to be king and using his influence for murder and the satisfaction of his own lusts.
I know who we’d recommend for the All Saints award, but God still chose them both!
3. Disclosure is better than exposure: Fallout is inevitable sometimes, but disclosure gives
you more control—not over others responses, but over yours! We can disclose something when
we’ve come to grips with our actions and have entrusted ourselves to God’s grace. Releasing
shame breaks the power of the sin. When we wait for time or others to expose us, we experience a
sense of loss and devastation that can make it difficult to connect with the strength and grace God
so freely offers. If you’re out of control financially, emotionally, sexually or in any other
way…one of your first steps to getting your life back on track is admitting the behavior and the
motivations behind it to someone you can trust.
4. Humble yourself, you are guaranteed acceptance: In 1 Samuel 12:19-22, the Israelites
finally realize how short they have fallen of God’s purposes and plans by demanding a king.
Fearing God will cut them off, they ask Samuel to intercede on their behalf. In response, Samuel
tells them to turn to God and forsake false idols. Like us, the Israelites were looking for help in
every other place, but from the true source. Samuel assures them that if they obey God, they will
not be rejected despite their mistakes. You don’t need to hide from God. You don’t have to
be afraid to come to Him in prayer or lift up your hands. He was ready to forgive and restore you,
before you were even ready to change!
Live It! Get free from shame by taking the steps above. You know what you’ve been trying to
hide and you also know it isn’t working. Take the first step towards walking in freedom, by
refusing to live in shame.
inevitable changes.
All of us have areas of immaturity that we need to address. But God’s plan is always to present us
with the circumstances and opportunities we need to grow. Meanwhile, our job is to keep our
immaturities in check. Too often, we beat ourselves up with the “could’ves” and the “should’ves”
when faced with our shortcomings. But there’s no time machine that will take us back so that we
can fix it. However, the future lies ahead with the opportunity to make things better!
Shame is not a part of God’s growth plan for us. Shame leads to lying, isolation and hiding. When
we are ashamed, we cover the very things that we need to expose, while cutting ourselves off from
the counsel and comfort of loved ones. Shame makes us lie about who and where we are.
Conviction on the other hand, empowers us. Conviction occurs when we apprehend God’s
standard, while understanding and believing that He intends to bring us up to the task—if we’re
willing to be obedient.
In order to defeat shame, we must understand that:
1. Falling short is human: Failure is a part of the human condition. We all mistakes. In fact,
we all have behavioral patterns that can threaten to compromise our testimony. We don’t accept
falling short with a nonchalant attitude that excuses sin. Rather, we accept that we can’t win the
fight in our strength alone. We need His grace to change. Pretending that you have it all together
and denying that you have a struggle is a waste of time. You can start the path to a delivered life by
admitting your faults and refusing to compare yourself to anyone or anything but the Word.
2. Remember that failure isn’t fatal: It would be great if we all had perfect track records,
but we don’t. The truth is some of us get it right in some areas while others don’t. Your credit
might be bad, but you are saving yourself for marriage. Meanwhile, the other sister pays every bill
ahead of time, but is struggling to live single and saved. It is important to understand that God
used both Joseph and David. In scripture, it would seem that Joseph got it all right. He responded
to adversity with the right attitude. He maintained his faithfulness to God. Then, we have David,
blessed by God to be king and using his influence for murder and the satisfaction of his own lusts.
I know who we’d recommend for the All Saints award, but God still chose them both!
3. Disclosure is better than exposure: Fallout is inevitable sometimes, but disclosure gives
you more control—not over others responses, but over yours! We can disclose something when
we’ve come to grips with our actions and have entrusted ourselves to God’s grace. Releasing
shame breaks the power of the sin. When we wait for time or others to expose us, we experience a
sense of loss and devastation that can make it difficult to connect with the strength and grace God
so freely offers. If you’re out of control financially, emotionally, sexually or in any other
way…one of your first steps to getting your life back on track is admitting the behavior and the
motivations behind it to someone you can trust.
4. Humble yourself, you are guaranteed acceptance: In 1 Samuel 12:19-22, the Israelites
finally realize how short they have fallen of God’s purposes and plans by demanding a king.
Fearing God will cut them off, they ask Samuel to intercede on their behalf. In response, Samuel
tells them to turn to God and forsake false idols. Like us, the Israelites were looking for help in
every other place, but from the true source. Samuel assures them that if they obey God, they will
not be rejected despite their mistakes. You don’t need to hide from God. You don’t have to
be afraid to come to Him in prayer or lift up your hands. He was ready to forgive and restore you,
before you were even ready to change!
Live It! Get free from shame by taking the steps above. You know what you’ve been trying to
hide and you also know it isn’t working. Take the first step towards walking in freedom, by
refusing to live in shame.
EMAIL:
Quoted as one of today's leading
motivational speakers by ESSENCE
magazine, Leadher Coach Scott™ shares
life-changing truths with practical wisdom,
humor and insight. Currently, a columnist
for StreamingFaith.com, her workshops
and seminars are popular at women's,
singles' and youth conferences. For more
info, also visit feliciascott.com or myspace.
com/upliftagency. Follow her at www.twitter.
com/coachfelicia.
Email Coach Scott:
coachscott@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
motivational speakers by ESSENCE
magazine, Leadher Coach Scott™ shares
life-changing truths with practical wisdom,
humor and insight. Currently, a columnist
for StreamingFaith.com, her workshops
and seminars are popular at women's,
singles' and youth conferences. For more
info, also visit feliciascott.com or myspace.
com/upliftagency. Follow her at www.twitter.
com/coachfelicia.
Email Coach Scott:
coachscott@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
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I was eleven years old when my baby sister
was born. As I stood on the edge of
“tweendom,” navigating the landmine of
changing hormones and first crushes, I was
mortified to discover that my parents had
hormones too! I couldn’t believe they were
actually having sex. Embarrassed, I hid my
mother’s pregnancy from my friends. But
somehow my sixth grade teacher found out,
and proceeded to wholeheartedly
congratulate me in front of the class about
the upcoming arrival. My secret was
exposed and all I could do was pretend to be
happy, while inwardly resenting my parents
for their despicable behavior!
In hindsight, I can laugh at my immaturity. I
was eleven and didn’t realize that sex in
marriage is natural. Nor, did my young mind
realize that everyone was eventually going to
know the truth when my sister was born.
was born. As I stood on the edge of
“tweendom,” navigating the landmine of
changing hormones and first crushes, I was
mortified to discover that my parents had
hormones too! I couldn’t believe they were
actually having sex. Embarrassed, I hid my
mother’s pregnancy from my friends. But
somehow my sixth grade teacher found out,
and proceeded to wholeheartedly
congratulate me in front of the class about
the upcoming arrival. My secret was
exposed and all I could do was pretend to be
happy, while inwardly resenting my parents
for their despicable behavior!
In hindsight, I can laugh at my immaturity. I
was eleven and didn’t realize that sex in
marriage is natural. Nor, did my young mind
realize that everyone was eventually going to
know the truth when my sister was born.
August 2-16
| EEWMAGAZINE.COM |
